Update #9: Recovering and Rejoicing…
I can’t believe it’s been 3 weeks since my surgery!
I am simply amazed as I look back and beyond grateful as I look forward.
The first week home was incredibly difficult and the pain was something I had to learn how to manage. Eating the right foods was crucial, as my body adapts to processing, digesting and eliminating foods all over again.
The second week, I began to feel stronger, but I had to continue to rest. I couldn’t spend too much time on my feet or sit for too long. The pain and discomfort remained, but less excruciating.
Now, at week three, I still feel like I’m recovering at snail speed, but every day is an improvement from the previous. I am slow at everything and I feel restless, but I’m listening to my body’s limits. For those who know me, know that moving slow is not my favorite thing to do. I try to incorporate a few walks and itty-bitty adventures out of the house as much as I can, without pushing myself.
Last week, I had my 2 week, post-op doctor visit and the Doc was encouraged by my progress and assured me that, although it seems slow, I am right on track. I see her in 4 more weeks and if at that point I’m still progressing well, then the plan is to follow up every 6 months and do an annual colonoscopy for the next 5 years. Statistically speaking, she said that I fall into an 85% success rate category. This is incredible news!
I can’t describe my emotions without crying. I am simply amazed at the outcome of this experience. When I was first diagnosed, I was flooded with fear. I could only see the devastation of cancer through my own Mother’s battle and her passing was still so fresh in my heart. It was hard to be optimistic with my own diagnosis. At my Mom’s memorial, I sang Lauren Daigle’s song, “Trust in You”, as a tribute to her and her faith in God, as well as my own faith, even when God doesn’t move the mountains we ask Him to move. Little did I know, that as I boldly professed my faith, cancer was alive and growing inside of me, ready to test my ability to live out my faith. I found out it’s much easier to verbally say “I trust God”, than to authentically trust Him. But when something like this hits you personally, it brings you to a crossroads and you have to chose…will I trust God? No matter what the outcome?
As I have described in previous blog posts, the peace that pushed out my fears was indescribable. The more I surrendered my will over to God, the more peace and comfort I felt. And the more I professed HIS promise, to get me through the storms of life, the more I experienced His presence. I cannot explain this peace or my ability to rest in Him, other than to say that “HIS strength was made perfect in my weakness”. His love cast out all my fear.
My need for HIM, became so much more important to me than any outcome.
When faced with life-threatening circumstances, I found that focusing on God, and NOT my circumstances, opened the door to a deeper walk with Him and personally experiencing the depths of HIS love, in ways I never fully understood before this storm.
Since being home, I’ve heard news of some of my friends, who are dealing with cancer and have not had the same outcome. Again, I don’t understand God’s ways and I caution those who try to understand them. For God allows the sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. He is God. Who am I to question Him. Where was I when He established the Heavens and the Earth? I do, however, encourage those to cast their cares upon Him, because He cares. He hears our cries and bottles our tears. He is a good and sovereign God. His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. We may not understand why He allows some to overcome, and others to be overcome by this horrible disease. But I do know that HE CAN BE TRUSTED to walk with us and never leave or forsake us, if we truly seek a relationship with Him.
The fact that I was blessed with such a wonderful outcome is truly a gift. I did not expect it, nor did I deserve it. But I rejoice in it. I also rejoice in having experienced a closeness with God, that I have never had before. It has deepened my faith and my understanding of His great love. I rejoice in having experienced His promise; to be my strength, comfort and hiding place, when I’m in trouble. I rejoice knowing that He is in control of my life, and has a purpose in everything that He allows, good or bad. I rejoice knowing that He can be trusted, no matter what the outcome. I rejoice in WHO HE IS and that I AM HIS.
Thank you for your constant love, support and prayers as I continue to recover and find my physical strength again. I hope to be back to work by mid-October. For all of you who have contributed with meals, groceries, notes, flowers, financial help, visits, calls and prayers…I rejoice in your kindness, thoughtfulness, friendship and love. You have blessed me beyond measure.