Update #4 (Meeting w/Surgeon) August 16, 2016
I met with the surgeon today and she remembered me from my own mother’s fight with cancer, (she was her Doctor, as well). I instantly felt peace about things, as she spoke personally with me about my situation and how it differed from my mother’s.
It was a lot of information, so I will try to recap it as simple as possible.
- Good news…She recommended surgery first and then we can wait to see if I need treatment later.
- The tumor is slighly higher than she initially thought, which will help with making surgery a little less complicated(Good news).
- There is a small possibiliy that I may have a colostomy bag until I recover (Bad news). But if surgery goes well, then I may not have it all (Good news).
- Obviously, I’m hoping for the latter, but if not, it would be temporary and reversed after recovery.
- There are some nodes, surrounding the colon, that are swollen. They will be removed with the tumor and biopsied.
- IF they come back cancerous, then I’ll need radiation and chemo (Bad news), but if they come back clean, then I won’t! (Good news).
- There is also a chance that my tumor has caused an abnormal attachment between the colon, (where the tumor is located), and the uterus.
- If so, the Doctor will attempt to separate it without complication. If she can’t, then I may need a hysterectomy, as well (Bad news). Obviously, I’m hoping for the least amount of invasion.
- Surgery will be scheduled in less than 2 weeks.
- I will be out of work for about a month, recovering.
Tomorrow, I talk to the Oncologist about the possiblity of treatment and what that may look like, if it is recommended.
I am so humbled in this process. It is not easy to talk about these things, but I’m committed to being open and transparent, not only with my treatment plan, but with my feelings & faith, as well. I know God can use all of it for a greater purpose.
I admit, I can struggle with my insecurities and start to be scared again. I can also start thinking stupid thoughts, like: “I don’t want to lose my hair!” or “I don’t want a colostomy bag!!!” I wish I could say that I didn’t struggle with that kind of pride, but I can’t. When my own Mother would say those things to me, I would immediately remind her that her life was much more important than those silly issues of vanity…and now here I am, dealing with the same issues and they’re not so silly anymore. I find myself praying for “my will” again, instead of surrendering fully to God’s.
So, I continue to ask you to please pray for me, that I would let go and trust God to get me through this, even if it is difficult; even if it is embarrassing or humbling.
My own prayers tend to be, me asking God that everything would go smooth and easy, but I am quickly reminded that God never promised me a life that would be easy…but He DID promise that He would never leave me or forsake me….I can rest in that. I can trust He will get me through this! I can let His perfect peace and love cast out all my fears and I can rejoice in the hope I have in HIM.
Thank you again for your loving support.