Stepping Out

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 9, 2011

Stepping Out of the Boat

The calling of the Lord has never been a loud shout in my life. It’s always been a gentle and quiet whisper that requires me to muffle all the loud moving parts inside my own head in order to hear Him speak. Even when I’m still long enough to listen for His voice, I find myself straining, “Is that you, Lord? Please, would you speak just a little bit louder, so I can be clear that it is you and what you are saying?”
I was in my 20’s when I discovered I had a genetic hearing loss and quickly found myself in and out of the operating room trying correct this rapid loss. With the help of today’s wonderful technology and the hands of a surgeon at the House Clinic, I was able to hear much better & prevent any further loss. However, I still had to rely on hearing aids at the early age of 25 to help with clarity from irreparable nerve damage and throw out any insecurities I had about wearing them.
I am almost 43 now and quite used to them. But for the last 20 years, I still find myself studying the lips of people talking so I won’t miss anything with my imperfect ears. I often ask those around me “Can you please speak a little louder or clearer?” There are also times I feel like not listening at all, because it can be somewhat tiresome. But those who know me and love me have a great deal of patience and acceptance (my wonderful husband, Aaron and my beautiful daughters) and for that, I am thankful.
Once, I was in line at Ross talking to the gal at the register and I missed something she said and my daughter, Elle speaks out uninhibitedly, “my mom is deaf”. I could tell by the gal’s expression that she was unsure of the validity of Elle’s remark and responded with humor, “so am I, sometimes”. To that Elle quickly blurts out “no really, she’s deaf… look at her ears!” Clearly, she has no shame or embarrassment. It’s a simple fact about her mom that she accepts.
I have learned to feel the same way and I am not ashamed. I have also learned that it cannot be an excuse that keeps me from listening. I have to focus and look at people. I have to tune out other noises and concentrate on the speaker. I cannot say “I can’t hear, therefore I won’t try to listen”.
I see the Lord working in my spiritual life in this same way. He desires to talk to me and all too often, I doubt my ability to discern His voice, so I say “I can’t hear you, Lord” or “please speak louder”. Even further, sometimes I simply give up trying to listen. Thankfully, He never gives up on me. He calls me to step towards Him, not Him towards me. For me to listen intently, not ask Him to get louder. And just like Jesus called Peter out of the boat and into the water (Matt 14:29), He’s calling me. He wants me to stay focused on Him, tune out the waves of doubt and noise around me and step out in faith knowing that He will hold me up.  And to read His word in the same way that I would read lips, as to not miss a thing!
So, here I go. “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening” (I Sam 3:10). I’m stepping out and it is my deep desire to be used in such a way that brings glory to God, encouragement to you and a new faith to “walk on water”.
May God bless you.

About dbythesea

It is my hope and prayer that I can make a difference in the lives I touch and that I will live a life of faith that brings glory to God. "Walk on Water" is my journey of reckless abandonment to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. To God be the Glory!
This entry was posted in Christianity, Faith, Life in Christ, Spiritual and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Stepping Out

  1. Jovel houston says:

    I’m with you. This will be special honey! God richly bless
    this year for your family. Love!!

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